You clearly have some issues with "my struggle to satisfy my GF"!! lol But then you are obviously not British - so I will put your juvenile meanderings down to your tenuous grasp of our beautiful language. It is capable of being used to express the most complicated messages, with devastating precision. This message will, I am certain, be lost in translation. Nontheless - never let it be said that I am not a sensitive individual - I am quite prepared to tutor you - I want you to improve yourself. For a nominal token fee; I will take on the monumental task of bringing your English Language appreciation up to...well let's not be too ambitious.....let's say up to the "conversational level". How about £20 per consultation? You can have this one as an introductory loss-leader.