This will piss you off nicely

I clean my own house. My family own some property around Gossy/Jesmond and the Gosforth cleaners arrived a couple of times when I was crashing there after a night out. Bit of a shock the first time when they just walked in. Thankfully I wasn't riding anyone or fapping away.

 

No but I reckon this shady chap could arrange that if its your personal tickle.

 

Never shag a dwarf with an IQ under 75, it's not big and it's not clever.

 

Sky's successfully rendered these "big club" arguments completely pointless. It's all about either right now or next year.

Leicester fans have have had this incredible experience, yet how many of those people have been on Ranieri's case asking for him to be sacked? "Would you take a PL win then relegation the next season, or would you rather have year after year of mid-table obscurity" is the question - an alarming amount have said "no" to relegation!!

I personally don't understand what football has become.

 

That's just pure stupidity.

Its like saying "Would you if given the opportunity shag Jennifer Lawrence even if meant you had to drop into the 2nd division and get jiggy with Rita Ora the night after"

Of course you would. You get the trophy shag. If you are Chaos you also keep a snippet of her hair as a trophy memory...

 

Granted these same people have been spending time ringing TalkSh!te, so perhaps not a fair cross-section, but still!!!

J-Law is a cut above, of course, but I'd say Rita (with those magnificent accessories) is more in the West Brom bracket. Still top flight, just nowhere near Europe. Either way, neither or going to win this fictional Premier League, with Hayley Atwell around 2 points clear.....

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Now I like Hayley as far as the more buxom ladies go, but Jennifer Lawrence she is not. Jennifer's Chelsea mate.

 

J-Law's a big club, but she's not top of the league. She's been around too much, she's Man U. I think most men feel like they already know her intimately thanks to 'that hack', which is half the battle.

Got to be buxom, not sure there's much point otherwise. Hayley's Bayern.

 

lol that made me spit my lemsip all over my pc.

 

You know that female boss with bad breath..... now you know what she did last night!

 

This isn't going to be like the gym bird saga all over again is it?

 

Have you actually thought about inviting Rachel along? This may be the ideal opportunity to break the ice and keep everybody happy (possibly apart from Rachel).

 

Rachel will be fine with it. make her wear long sleeves so your date cant see her hands are tied, perhaps take the masking tape off her mouth and use a tissue to wipe away the tears and running mascara. Drugs are a good idea, if she does attempt to escape, she wont get far!

 

I don't know. The likes of Mila Kunis, Minka Kelly, Scarlett Johannsson, Kate Beckinsale, Emilia Clarke are all above Hayley, in fact the list is endless. What about a bit of Ashley Doris?

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Or Ciara Price?

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I sometimes forget just how much I love pussy. It is never ending isn't it?

 

You shouldn't make jokes about this, you are simply belittling women everywhere.

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Seriously though there is something really ****ed up in the world when you have these American frat parties shouting "No means yes". WTF

 

Right, defo talk to her about football, if she starts getting excited about it then you know she'll eventually swing full-muff.

If she tells you to pipe down cos football is boring, then you know her lesbo side is just curiosity.

Also, if she goes to the bog, check her diary in her phone to make sure she has no plans to get a pixie crop at her local Turkish Barber.

 

First things first....

ScarJo

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And KBeck

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Are plenty busty. We're going to have to disagree on wee Emilia Clarke. I'd go Emily Blunt or Olivia Munn first.

For sheer funbag heaven, Dakota Blue Richards every time...

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Sexy poll 2.... here we cum...

 

What was the original subject matter?