The Billy bullshitter thread

Just so Spurlocks 'what are you doing' thread doesn't get to clogged up, feel free to put your extravagant lifestyle here.

It's red hot outside today so I'm actually not doing much apart from having a relaxing day on the beach with my lass. She's really canny for those of you who don't know her

 

Day off today...time for a spliff

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Could use this for a bit of a game, post one true thing and one bullshit fact we all then guess which is the bullshit. HAIG isn't allowed to play this as it's always all bullshit.

 

Ok....

I had a threesome with Nelly Furtado and Famke Janssen


I like hash browns

 

Tough one but I'm going to call bullshit on the Hash Browns?

 

I've sang a song with a now famous rock band.

Fruit is really bad for me.

 

To be fair we have known each other for a while now

That one was too obvious...ok I'll come up with another

 

I wish I'd have played more football. I only ever played one full season in an FA approved league on the weekend. I broke every record going and walked away with the golden boot at the end of the season. I never played another competitive season after that.

When I was in the light infantry, I had passed my weapon handling training and went on the live firing range for the first time. I made the schoolboy error of keeping my finger on the trigger when I wasn't ready to fire and let off a round which missed another squaddie by no more than 6 yards. I got 14 months in Colchester and dishonourably discharged.

 

I don't eat fruit either

 

Want to say the shooting is bullshit as the sentence is harsh. 14 months there is going to be hell.

 

I think the second one is true

 

Had a great wedding anniversary weekend in Bruges courtesy of my lovely wife.

Heading back to old Blighty now.

Gotta dash, the pilot's waiting.

 

The correct answer is...

 

Got it right. What's the footy story then, why just one season?

 

Respek....


hang on that looks like a proper boot...not like the one I've seen 2 season wonder Harry Kane with.

and why one season? Tut tut

 

I spent a weekend in a flat with The Cult.
I was once an MP.

 

My mental health is the top and bottom of it. Always anxious and severe lack of confidence, which probably sounds strange but no matter how well I do at something in life, I always expect it to fall apart at any time.

I was 23 when I finally got the courage to play, the lads had been asking me to go along for a long time, I eventually did. The league record for goals in a game was 7, I hammered 9 in one game. Halfway through the season I was getting asked to play for clubs at a good level including Gretna up in Scotland who were marching through the Scottish leagues at the time. I started to fall apart again with the expectation and actually missed the last 2 or 3 games but I'd already done enough to win the golden boot.

I just wasn't mentally strong enough to go any further.

 

It's heavy as **** mate

 

Cult is true.

 

That's a shame...football is a buzz when you are good at it