Might go some way to explaining where he ran off the rails, a clearly troubled man... https://www.theguardian.com/footbal...ctions-gambling-drinking-qpr?CMP=share_btn_tw
"The manager, Ian Holloway, was actually telling me to stay. I’d been in his office close to tears, so he said: ‘How anyone could think sending you there would be a good idea is beyond me. You need to get yourself right.’ I appreciated him for that but, for the club, I can see why it was appealing to be shot of me but I was in no fit state to move and eventually pulled the plug on it." One for the next time someone calls Olly a **** manager. Just goes to show as we (including me) were calling for him to be shipped out, he was in a very dark place. I really hope he gets himself sorted and finds his peace. ...and on a purely selfish note he could be like a new signing if he gets himself back together - there is no doubt he has the talent.
"Despite Holloway having made clear his desire to retain the centre-half’s services, his future will not be at Loftus Road. “What happens next is all a bit confused, all a bit unclear,” he says. “The manager has texted me several times offering his support and saying he wants me at the club but my new representative has been informed by the owners I’m not welcome back." Goodbye Steven - good luck getting your life back together, but it won't be with us.......
I hope this is not a sympathy cover up by the lad. If true, I hope he conquers his demons; equally his recent behavior means he needs to seek help, and then finds his way in life - which will not be at this club which he has not been honest with so far. All the best.
I'm sure that's as much to do with the wages as anything else - if so wherever he goes I hope he pulls it together.
Forgive the question because I genuinely don't know, but when does a character trait become a mental illness; is it only when these traits are negative?
I would say the answer to that is probably yes, Uber. If somebody compulsively acts in a manner damaging to themselves and their loved ones, they have a psychological problem.
I have a strong sense of deja - vu. Did we not have a renaissance in the guy precisely twelve months ago? Frankly I don't give a damn about him. Greed, arrogance and stupidity form a toxic combination. He has a brain, admittedly not much of one, and should have matured by now into a responsible adult. He has chosen his path in life and gest no sympathy from me if he now regrets it unless he is prepared to put it right and, start by repaying us for the wages he has lived off in the last few years. Would he be willing to take a drop in wages to the level of a junior player breaking his way into our reserve team. I doubt it somehow.
Tru dat, but I suspect it also has something to do with what is generally considered 'normal' behaviour these days too, although I understand that almost everything is apparently 'normal' now. I wonder that if a certain behaviour still falls within the boundaries of 'normal' then all is well. But if it falls outside, but is extremely positive, such as excessive philanthropy or charity, then that's also OK. Outside and negative, then it has to be an illness, right? Perhaps certain negative compulsive behaviours, such as gambling or drinking, might simply be down to the individual being a selfish ****?
Think I disagree Uber...I think when the disorder becomes compulsive and overwhelming. So Aspergers is a disorder even if it imparts positive traits, like excessive striving for perfection. I know computer programmers and gaming writerss who are great in their jobs..but are obsessive to the point of mental destruction. We know of a person who was so distraught about not getting "things right" in a computer programme that they killed themselves... It was the same compulsive behaviour...harnessed mainly to good, they were able to hold down a good job until it took over and destroyed them
Sounds like striving for perfection to the point of self destruction is a negative, Vernon, so in actual fact we agree
It would be great if Caulker returned to play as a new signing and would shine. Let's hope and wish him well.
The weight of expectation clearly gets to him. Maybe the expectation and his self-loathing might be a lot less if he stopped picking up his huge wage packet each week.
I think that we have become over sensitised to the range of 'normal' behaviour, stuff on the edges of this range we are now encouraged to think of as illnesses. And my industry is more than partly to blame for this. Everyone has good days and bad days but now we think we are depressed and need medication on the bad days. Real depression is a very real and very serious illness but I am sure we overtreat massively, because the drugs are there and GPs can prescribe them. Something similar has happened with ADHD. It's real, and in some cases very scary, but I just don't believe that the boom in numbers of kids getting medicated is a reflection of the actual numbers who need treatment. In both cases the pharmaceutical industry has expanded the definition of the diseases, with the active collusion of doctors, and encouraged people to think that it's abnormal to have mood swings or for kids to behave badly sometimes. Probably not relevant to Caulker, where too much money and too little character probably play a role. Hope he sorts himself out, he certainly has the dosh to get the best help available. Also hope he recuperates somewhere else.
Whether genuine or not, whether with us or not, he needs to get himself sorted out, and I hope he gets the right help to do just that. None of us actually know what's going on in his head (that's the scariest thing about mental illness - you look fine but feel anything but) and so I just wish him good health and true friends that will be both honestly loving and lovingly honest with him.