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Some Fun For a Friday Afternoon

Discussion in 'Watford' started by wear_yellow, Apr 8, 2011.

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  1. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    She's only had a few hours but already....

    tardis.png
     
    #2641
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 18, 2017
    Scullion and yorkshirehornet like this.
  2. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    And they all vote labour
     
    #2642
    duggie2000, Jul 19, 2017
  3. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    WOW
    When did Nicola Sturgeon become Doctor Who
     
    #2643
    duggie2000, Jul 19, 2017
  4. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Awkward... :)

     
    #2644
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 20, 2017
  5. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    jane.png
     
    #2645
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 21, 2017
    andytoprankin likes this.
  6. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    #2646
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 24, 2017
  7. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Unsurprisingly, my wife doesn't agree...

    roots.JPG
     
    #2647
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 25, 2017
  8. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    If he gets any closer, the driver behind might rear-end her.

    Which may be what she wants...

    anal.JPG
     
    #2648
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 25, 2017
  9. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Capture3.JPG
     
    #2649
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 25, 2017
    andytoprankin and yorkshirehornet like this.
  10. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    I guess I must have Scottish ancestry, or maybe it's the amount of single malt I consume! <hic> <parp>
     
    #2650
    canary-dave, Jul 25, 2017

  11. yorkshirehornet

    yorkshirehornet Well-Known Member

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    Joke for the day...

    While golfing, a senior gentleman accidentally overturned his golf cart late one afternoon. A very attractive, young, female golfer, who lives in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you OK?"
    "I’m OK, thanks," he replied, as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.
    She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I’ll help you get the cart up later."
    The old guy noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
    "That’s mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don’t think my wife would like it."
    "Oh, come on now!" she insisted. She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. He was weak.
    "Well, OK," he finally agreed.
    After a couple of Scotch and sodas, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d better go now."
    "Don’t be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. Your wife won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?"
    He replied, "Still under the cart, I suppose."
     
    #2651
    yorkshirehornet, Jul 26, 2017
  12. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the Race again, and it won again. The local paper read:
    PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

    The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
    The next day, the local paper headline read:
    BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

    This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
    NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

    The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer
    for $10. The next day the paper read:
    NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

    This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
    NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

    The bishop was buried the next day.
     
    #2652
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 26, 2017
    yorkshirehornet likes this.
  13. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    20431374_1970898409844721_7409558613559251585_n.jpg
     
    #2653
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 28, 2017
  14. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    #2654
    Bolton's Boots, Jul 31, 2017
    yorkshirehornet likes this.
  15. yorkshirehornet

    yorkshirehornet Well-Known Member

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    upload_2017-8-2_8-19-2.jpeg
     
    #2655
    yorkshirehornet, Aug 2, 2017
  16. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne.

    The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne too!'

    'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I'm celebrating.'

    This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.'

    'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?'

    'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

    'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.'

    'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

    'I used a different cock,' he replied.

    The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said ‘What a coincidence!'
     
    #2656
    Bolton's Boots, Aug 2, 2017
    canary-dave likes this.
  17. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    A plane leaves JFK airport under the control of a Jewish Captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

    Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish Captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters,
    "I don't like Chinese..."

    "No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"

    "You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why."

    "No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah. That Japanese, not Chinese."

    "Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. Doesn't matter, you're all alike."

    There's a few minutes of silence ...

    "I no rike Jews", the co-pilot suddenly announces.

    "Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.

    "Jews sink Titanic," says the co-pilot.

    "What? That's insane. Jews didn't sink the Titanic," exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg."

    "Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , no mattah ... all frucking same."
     
    #2657
    Bolton's Boots, Aug 3, 2017
  18. Bolton's Boots

    Bolton's Boots Well-Known Member

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    Brave lad - I take my hat off to him... <laugh>

     
    #2658
    Bolton's Boots, Aug 4, 2017
    andytoprankin likes this.
  19. superhorns

    superhorns Well-Known Member

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    #2659
    superhorns, Aug 9, 2017
  20. canary-dave

    canary-dave Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #2660
    canary-dave, Aug 11, 2017
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