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Off Topic Scratch and sniff

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 19, 2017.

?

Do you.....?

  1. Just scratch

    2 vote(s)
    40.0%

  2. Scratch and sniff

    3 vote(s)
    60.0%

  3. Both from time to time

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
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  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    When you scratch your arse do you follow up with a cheeky little sniff or not?

    The German coach is a legendary scratcher and sniffer.
     
    #1
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 19, 2017
  2. cronemeister

    cronemeister Well-Known Member

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    Anybody who says they don't (scratch and sniff) is a ****ing out and out liar!!
     
    #2
    cronemeister, Jul 19, 2017
    BigDaveysJCB and J. J. McClure like this.
  3. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    I agree mate. Summer sniffs are w wee bit more potent though.
     
    #3
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 19, 2017
  4. Geordie lass in the Fen

    Geordie lass in the Fen Well-Known Member

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    You can tell things are slow can't you? Lol
     
    #4
    Geordie lass in the Fen, Jul 20, 2017
    Marra SAFC 77, Warmir Pouchov, J. J. McClure and 1 other person like this.
  5. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>


    download.jpg
     
    #5
    jimileysbaldhead, Jul 20, 2017
  6. Blacker-than-Knight

    Blacker-than-Knight Slainte

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    Bollocks, anyone sticking their hands down their trousers and poking their fingers up their bum are just weird let alone sniffing them afterwards, wipe yer bums properly and wash yer hands, dirty ****ers.
     
    #6
    Blacker-than-Knight, Jul 20, 2017
    G4rdToonArmy, Warmir Pouchov, Judge Death and 1 other person like this.
  7. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    Defo.

    After the gym for example, the arse crack is a sweaty mess. Nowt better than a good yank at the arse hairs and a sniff before you jump in the shower. Always offer the wife a sniff too, it's good for morale.
     
    #7
    Tel (they/them), Jul 20, 2017
    Marra SAFC 77, Warmir Pouchov, J. J. McClure and 1 other person like this.
  8. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Despite being what could be considered an old man, I'm flexible enough to sniff first and then decide whether the rusty bullet hole needs scratching.
     
    #8
    jimileysbaldhead, Jul 20, 2017
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  9. cronemeister

    cronemeister Well-Known Member

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    Woaaaaaahhhhhh, who said owt a bout slipping a cheeky finger up there like? Keep your filthy habits to yourself mate....I save that job for the missus anyways :)
     
    #9
    cronemeister, Jul 20, 2017
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  10. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Shouldn't this have been posted on the mackem board? Urgh
     
    #10
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 20, 2017

  11. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Beat me to it <laugh> Quite a leap taken there, I think BTK has inadvertently revealed his own procedure. I think he probably enjoys a cheeky pokey bum **** after that revelation.
     
    #11
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 20, 2017
  12. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Yes...they've got more fingers to scratch and sniff.
     
    #12
    jimileysbaldhead, Jul 20, 2017
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  13. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    :cheesy:
     
    #13
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 20, 2017
  14. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    They call it a finger buffet
     
    #14
    Warmir Pouchov, Jul 20, 2017
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  15. cronemeister

    cronemeister Well-Known Member

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    Even the kit-kats have 5 fingers down there !
     
    #15
    cronemeister, Jul 20, 2017
  16. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Scratch and sniff ffs, what's next, a lick? <yikes>
     
    #16
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 20, 2017
  17. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

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    No, don't be disgusting.
     
    #17
    Tel (they/them), Jul 20, 2017
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  18. Sammy's Silky Skills

    Sammy's Silky Skills Well-Known Member

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    Basic Thai rimming would be order of the day.
     
    #18
    Sammy's Silky Skills, Jul 20, 2017
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  19. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    <laugh>
     
    #19
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 20, 2017
  20. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    You are taking us down a new avenue here...
     
    #20
    Dorty Dogbreath, Jul 20, 2017
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