Racing Presenters On Itv

Boxing and rugby are men's sports and those who deride them wear ladies underwear. Snooker and cricket are more an art form, and as for women's volleyball, I just love it. And you'll have to believe me when I say I really mean it.

Horse racing though is a different thing. Do many households gather round the tele when the racing comes on? Does mum cry. "Bugger the washing, the racing is on?" And the kids playing football in the park suddenly shout. "**** are the horses being called to the stalls? Bugger this, football and drugs can't compete with the racing on tele." For the most part, as a spectator sport, racing is pretty crappy to Joe Public. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy watching the odd race, but most of the time, I'm into watching something else. And I'm a fan. If we love football and of our team is on the tele, do we watch the game, or an afternoon of racing where we don't have a bet? And we're fans. The great unwashed will watch the Grand National, and then **** all else. No Derby, no Arc, no Breeder's Cup. If I was asked to sit through an afternoon of racing, and not have a bet, or watch a football game, guess which I'd choose?

 

And the winner of campest comment of the year 2017 is…

Reminds me of that ‘Monty Python’ sketch – ‘It’s a man’s life in the Modern Army’ and all that…

In fact it’s almost, but not quite, 'camp' wise on a par with the bloke who sends unsolicited topless pictures of himself to chaps on here.

 

"I cut down trees, I wear high heels.
Suspendies and a bra,
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear pappa."

 

This is what I was brought up on, usually watching the racing on both channels, with a pot of pennies, we would back horses against my Nan, who usually collected all! It was great fun. Grandstand was OK, but it was World of Sport we really wanted.

World of Sport: ( from Wikipedia )
A typical edition would be broadcast between 12:15 and 17:10 and would take on the following format.[2]
12:20 On The Ball - football preview with Brian Moore and in later years Ian St. John and Jimmy Greaves.
13:00 Sports Special 1 - A wide array of sports, often including clips from US show Wide World of Sports. Less prominent sports such as darts, snooker, bowls, water skiing, speedway, rallying and others would also feature.
13:30 Racing, The ITV Seven.
15:00 Sports Special 2 - see Sports Special 1.
15:45 Half-Time Scores - the half-time scores from that day's football, plus racing results from races that had taken place in the previous hour.
16:00 Wrestling - a mainstay of the World of Sport schedule from 1965 until it ended. Many of the wrestlers featured became household names in the UK and the greatest rivalry was between Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks
16:45 Results Service - all the full-time football scores, match reports and league tables plus the last of the day's horse racing result.

 

Now, now gentlemen, if we're going to deride and take the piss when it comes to those wonderful souls who play rugby, the game they play in heaven, then surely those prima-donnas who chase the round ball all over the park for 90 minutes, are fair game. If ever there was a soft cock sport, it has to be "soccer."

"Hang on a mo fellows while I jump in the hit and hit someone with my elbow."

"Oh Mr. Referee old chap, number 9 over there stuck his toe in and sent poor Tommy crashing to the ground in agony."

 

Slight preference for women's beach volleyball, or are we talking about the same thing?..........

 

"He slapped me on the chops and made me fall over!"......

 

I actually think it would be preferable that on the big 2 Saturday’s (Derby Day and the Grand National) when viewing figures have the potential to go through the roof, if the correct production is deployed, they replace the existing racing team with the big ITV stars. That isn’t a flippant or tongue in cheek comment, incidentally, I really think it will work (well it can’t be any worse than Chamberlain, Harvey, Chapman, the Plunkett mare and McCoy boring everyone senseless). Plus the likes of old boys Ant and Dec, Sir Simon Cowell and the lovely, and I do mean lovely, Carol Vorderman all have a very keen interest in the sport.

Rest assured though I’m not going to do the obvious joke about them putting a couple of ‘Loose Women’ in the paddock.

If the budget can afford them though and Sir Simon isn’t holidaying on his yacht sign them up now ITV bosses.

 

I see that ITV1 are to show the first 5 races from the Festival every day in a broadcast which lasts from 1 pm – 4.30 pm. The right decision I think because whereas we all like watching horses running round in circles, whilst being kicking in the belly and slapped on the rump by those odious little chaps and chapesses, it's hardly ‘The Chase’ now is it?!?

Great to see that the Festival will have no effect whatsoever on old boy Brad Walsh and his clever chums. Good, good.

 

It surely cant be worse than what ch4 used to do the Ascot.

 

When the BBC used to employ that acerbic little chap (sorry I can’t recall his name) to comment on the fashion, at Ascot, at times it was more entertaining than the racing!

I can still recall some Chav filly being captured on camera and him proclaiming in the most caustic of tones, ‘Mutton dressed as mutton.’ Brilliant. Sadly, these days the coverage has gone very ‘New’ Labour and everyone has to be told how ‘utterly wonderful, darling’ they look.

 

With all die respect Barney, someone should have shoved the "acerbic little chap's face" into a pile of steaming horse ****.

 

Is Dani Minogue interested in horse racing? And what about Nicole Schw ??***??

 

Anything to do with anybody involved with Simon Cowell is undoubtedly a disaster. Only he gets rich from such ventures. His acolytes are allowed to hang around while he is making a profit but then they are banished. He is utterly complacent, so many of them may not work today, tomorrow or next week.

As Mr Cowell will undoubtedly be self-employed, he probably has to find at least £240 extra National Insurance whilst not having to pay 13.8 per cent employers’ National Insurance to receive the same State pension.

 

Who cares QM? Some pretty faces on the racing programs would be fine with me. Simon Cowell doesn't meet my criteria

 

Just from a logistics standpoint, supplies for this suggested treatment are certainly on hand, wouldn't you say? So, who's the 'someone' who is going to do it?

 

Finally discovered that the individual some of my co-correspondents wish, at the best, to receive a 'wee kicking' and at worst to be 'swimming with the fishes' is a certain James Sherwood aka 'His Nibs'.

I would add that in his own circles he is known as "charming and erudite".

Never give up; that's my work for the day finito!