If I had done something bad (naughty) my mum would always threaten to take down to the police station. (Now my wife threatens to take me down to Loftus Road to watch QPR!)
"if a job's worth doing its worth doing well" "well done...you are top of the will." After being rude to one of my syblings..."was it kind, was it loving, was it necessary?" After mispronouncing a word, "I think you'll find that the word 'the' starts with 'th' and not a 'v'."
One of my pals when I was a lad was nicknamed Dikey, don't know why. If we knocked at his door and asked for Dikey, his mum always indignantly said "Dikey has a name, you know", which always cracked us up.
I used to climb a lot of trees, and jump off of my garage roof as a kid - mum used to say 'If you break your legs, don't come running to me!"
I used to like whenever nan needed the toilet, she would say 'I'm just going to the Houses of Parliament'. I'm not sure if that's an actual saying, but nan's the only person I've heard say it, always amused me!
My mother always insisted that she didn't have a favourite child. Which was pretty upsetting as I didn't have any brothers or sisters.
When my Dad took a first sip of tea he'd go "Aah" in an appreciative way but would usually follow it up with "Jim Lad" turning it into the full Long John Silver sounding pirate voice. I still do this from time to time!
Whenever i used to get the arse as a child I'd shout "I Don't Care", my mum would always say "Well, Don't Care was made to care". This always confused me and I never really had a reply to it. Whenever my four year old daughter shouts "Don't Care" at me now, I have the great satisfaction of saying "Well, Don't Care was made to care". She always looks puzzled back at me, with the same gormless look I used to have, no doubt
Whenever I wanted something as a child for Christmas, birthday or at any other time, my mum would always reply with "we'll see" Which usually meant no chance.
My mum told me if I picked my nose my head would cave in! Sounds like a terrible thing to tell a child, anyway many years of excavation later and my bonce is still more or less in tact.
If anyone (other than my parents) told my brother to stop picking his nose he would always say "Why? Is it your nose I'm picking?"
When my father was in the bathroom I would always hear him shout "Set my people free" followed by a splash!!