DOUBLE ENTENDRE 13: A female news anchor on US TV, who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed...and didn't, turned to the weatherman and said, " So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
DOUBLE ENTENDRE 14: Metro Radio- "Julian Dicks is everywhere.It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field!"
DOUBLE ENTENDRE 15: Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977-" Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
I have a racing snail but sadly he doesn't win any more races so I thought I'd streamline him to see if it improved his performance. But if anything it made him more sluggish.
This prisoner escapes after 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and food, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair and he ties the wife to the bed, and gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He's probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain and do what he tells you, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is probably really dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, and thought you were cute. He asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom, so I told him where to find it. Be strong, darling. I love you, too."
DOUBLE ENTENDRE 16: US PGA commentator -" One orf the reasons Arnie(Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot,his wife takes out his balls and kisses them......"
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DOBLE ENTENDRE 17: Pat Glenn-Weightlifting commentator- "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"
HARRYHILLISMS 1 You can tell a lot about someone's personality if you know their star sign. Take Jesus, born on Dec 25th,fed the 5000, walked on water------typical Capricorn.