Photoshop/Jokes/GIF Thread

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 7

Ross King dicussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg!"

 

the Classic one from David Coleman,he opened his leg's and showed his class.

 

Im trying to put pic up from ''my pictures'' but want let me, any suggestions how I can do this HELLLLLLPPPPPPP LOL

 

Test Your Brain
This is really cool.

ALZHEIMER'S EYE TEST
(I love this part.. Its absolutely amazing!)


Count every "F" in the following text:


FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY 'F's?

Count them again.

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke..

READ IT AGAIN !


Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 'F's before you scroll down.


The reasoning behind this is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".


F INISHED F ILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
F IC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....

Incredible or what?


Anyone who counts all 6 'F's on the first go is a genius.


Three is normal, four is quite rare !!

 

Nice one Dean--you got me!

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 8 Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off!"

 

Dean mate you got me! I looked 3 farking times and didn't see any 'of's...

 

Let's Hope This Happens To All Of Us


Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked,

"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person

can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"


The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit,

turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply,

" I outlived the bastards

 

Very good

 

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 9 Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said; "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

 

Arsenal have placed a £10m bid for Felix Baumgartner (The guy who jumped from the edge of Space) after he has shown he is capable of performing in no atmosphere.

 

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 10 James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

 

Liverpool and ex-boss Kenny Dalglish are set to wear "Serbia are Innocent" T-Shirts before their home game with Reading as they vow to clear Serbia's name.

 

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 11

Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69"

 

Police officer. "Whats your date of birth".
Paddy. "16th October"
Police officer. "What year".
Paddy. "Every year".

 

IF.
You put a thin condom on a thin prick.
You put a long condom on a long prick.
You put a small condom on a small prick.
WHAT
Do you put on a thick prick.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A Spurs shirt.

 

My wife smokes so much she doesn't get periods....... She has occasional falls of soot.

 

My favourite game is to throw a penny between two Spurs fans and watch them fight to the death for it. I would like to try the same with catholic priests, only swap the penny for a small boy.

 

I once saw a spud window cleaner pull a leather out of his pocket which in turn dislodged a 50p coin with it. He was down the ladder in a flash when the coin hit him on the head.

 

DOUBLE ENTENDRE 12

The new stand at Doncaster racecourse took Brough Scott's breath away...."My word" he said " Look at that magnificent erection"

 

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"

On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip into a nice Jersey".

Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends £5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a news stand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy.
After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29". "I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47."
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass