Off Topic Parking

Me too. My view is the fat ****s probably need the exercise to get rid of all the additional fat they gained in pregnancy. So I'm helping them really.

 

The way I look at it, is my X6 is three times the size of the little lady's Fiat 500, so I need the bigger space more than her. Her 9lb child and small push chair does not even things up, she's still carrying a lighter load than I am.

Usually around Xmas time when it's extra busy, I'll just park across two parent and child bays, just in case there's a black friday offer of some sort, on 50" 4k tele's, you need to get the doors open a bit wider to get them in, cos my boot is full of ****.

 

My solution is to rename the parent and child bays 'parents, children and fat ****s'.
That will reduce the amount of tubby bastards rolling up to abuse the spaces.
It will also get a lot of parents thinking about parking further away for exercise...

 

I want them renamed "Spaces for any ****er"

 

Fat people have their own bays, the disabled ones. They roll out of their car, crushing anything within a 40 metre radius of their NHS-Issued Citroen Picasso, then they stand and wait for a member of staff to bring them a scooter for them to sit down (cos they've earned a sit down) then they wheel themselves off inside, skipping the fresh produce aisles altogether, straight to crisps and confectionary, then go home and complain on facebook about 'nosey people' cos people stared at them as they made another staff member FORKLIFT 200 boxes of Rocky biscuits into their car.

 

My mother has a blue badge, she has severe arthritis in both her knees, a double hernia, osteoporosis, a blocked artery in her heart, 3 attempts at angioplasty have failed, diverticulitis and some other issues, she gets severe pains in her legs and can't sleep properly for days, to get a blue badge you have to receive a particular disability benefit, provide a full medical history with further backup from a GP and undergo a full assessment by an occupational health officer, far more are refused than given out these days. When you really know something about this then comment, as it is you are just a twat talking ****e.

 

All that and she has to put up with a boring **** like you for a son.

 

Good day for you Tel - upsetting Man Utd fans and Newcastle fans all in the same day! Unlucky it was you that got picked on for the tongue in cheek comment as I think it was GLS who started this. Now get back over to the Sunderland Board and upset a few more of them - those are always much more fun.

 

I wasn't aware there was a resident member of the permanently offended crew on here. It really is PG innit?

His head popped at my comment about fatties and he went on to rant about disability... Maybe he needs to change his tampon and come and hug it out.

 

That's the good thing about an internet forum - you never know who you might upset next. See if you had addressed your comment to Obi he would have been over the moon. He's the only Newcastle supporter who has been banned from SJP as they have to lower the capacity by 10 when he attends to free up a row for him.
I hope you are posting on the Not606 Man Utd forum as well today - apparently stewards have been warned not to let you in for the Wigan game at weekend if you haven't got at least 100 posts up by the end of today.

 

I'd usually apologise if I've been a dick, but BTK can ram his momma's blue badge up his fart pipe for all I care. I've no time for folk who can't see the difference between harmless stereotyping for humour and actual discrimination, let alone completely mistake the content for something else.

Excuse me whilst I go make my United best 11 with blonde hair, do you reckon anybody will get offended if I use Wes Brown? I'm colourblind so I'm not entirely sure what colour it is/was... maybe I can have a blue badge.

 

Seriously this is ridiculous because it depends on the scenario unless you're an idiot.

Why not do another poll on whether you sit on a toilet seat while taking a ****?

 

I find doing it just as you are getting out of the bath, is far more environmentally friendly, as you don't need to wipe.

Make sure there's plenty of bubbles so your wife doesn't spot it when she gets in after you, flawless plan.

 

Not for me it loosens your ringhole, makes it too slippy and I don't get that anal sneeze feeling

 

But the splash is warm.

 

No not for me sorry

 

The bxggers here have a habit of squatting on the toilet seat. Presumably they think its unhygienic to park your arse where somebody else has. Often have to spend a few minutes cleaning size 8 bootmarks off the seat before I can have my turn.

 

I always assume the skiing position while breaking one loose in a public toilet and i always use my foot to flush

 

Maybe they're not squatting, they might be standing and seeing if they can break the bum splash world record.

 

The trick is to use what you have in terms of the bowl angle. If you land one perfectly on the runway you don't get the splash and can even reduce the evidence of an alligator skin to zero if it's a good quality yule