Masturbating Spider watched me whilst I showered

So, I woke up this morning, got up ready to take a shower. Went in the bathroom. Spotted a spider in middle of ceiling. Ignored it and got into the shower.

So what do spiders normally do when they see people? Scurry away, hide in a dark corner, or just ignore us.

This one did none of those. It immediately started crawling along the ceiling until it was above the shower. I'm not scared of spiders but don't particularly want one falling on my head whilst I showered either. So I keep an eye on it.

I was a little horny, wanting a ****, but not whilst there was a spider overhead. So I held off... And then the spider began descending on a thread into the shower.

This was very unspiderlike behaviour. Why is it coming to me instead of away from me? Finally it sort of landed in this suction cup tray that my wife puts her pore wipes in to throw away later but never does.

The spider is out of sight. I feel a little more comfortable and start raising the periscope a little. I start to enjoy myself and then look up.

The bugger is on the rim of the tray staring at me rubbing itself all over. I swear the spider was masturbating whilst watching me.

What a ****ing pervert spider! That sunk my battleship immediately.

Anyhow, I post this just as a general warning. Watch out when you ****, spiders are ****ing perverts.

 

Well this is a new low, even for pre-season.

 

You're off your rocker mate.

 

Oh, ffs!...-

 

You're just saying that because your wife had your nuts removed. No spider would mastubate over you.

 

Thanks for the warning, Milky.

I was going to knock one out during this evening's bath, but I might well save it until I'm somewhere a little more private, away from those multiple prying eyes.

 

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You **** in the bath?

 

Aye thats a little gross, means you are bathing in your own jizz.
Unless you lean out the tub to bolt your load onto the floor or down the bog!

 

So we now know that HIAG likes to have a **** during his evening bath, effectively smearing himself in jizz before he slides into bed next to the long suffering, Rover 25 driving Mrs HIAG.

 

This Should Be Closed!

 

If you have a powerful enough shot you could probably reach the sink.

 

Go for it!...

 

Well...

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Snap, had this looking at me in my shower on the farm this morning.

 

That's a nastier looking bastard than I had. Mine was a tan skinny spider.

 

I'd just bulldozer my house down.

 

Hunstman ?

 

Now we know what version of bath milk HIAG uses. ****ing depraved ****.

 

Yes, that or a Koh Lip but as it was behind the mesh it lived.