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Match Day Thread Manchester United v Chelsea (at Chelsea)

Discussion in 'Manchester United' started by Chief, Apr 16, 2015.

  1. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    Big game on Saturday evening, it's us versus probable champions Chelsea.

    Chelsea will no doubt be happy to not lose and, given their manager stares north in envy at the thought of working for United, he'll no doubt not want to upset his desired employers so won't try to win.

    We don't really need to win either, not losing is far more important against tough opponents, so a draw will keep everyone happy.
    As such I reckon it'll be a United win with two one the likely score. <ok>


    Interesting fact; Chelsea invented the system and term of parking the bus.
    This involves defending for your lives with ten men behind the ball and then hoping the one man up front might in some way spawn a goal. They've been boring their fans (any everyone else's) with this turgid style of football for a decade now since the first spell in charge by current perpetually wantaway manager Jose Mourinho.

    The big question; Does Di Maria start?
     
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  2. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    I don't think I can handle this magnificent match day thread, its out of this world <laugh>

    Q. Does Di Maria start?
    A. No
     
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  3. luvgonzo

    luvgonzo Pisshead

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    A bit too much thought into this one there was even a fact, I'm disappointed. What next, team line ups, previous match stats?
     
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  4. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    Match day stats all time

    At the Rusty Shed
    Chelsea won 24
    Manchester United won 34
    Draws 23

    Goals
    Chelsea 120
    Manchester United 140
     
    #4
  5. Daveunited

    Daveunited Well-Known Member

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    Jose will park the bus as usual, 0 0
     
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  6. Style

    Style 'where is the love'

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    Will Chelsea even bother with a striker is the question. Great thread, made me chuckle.
     
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  7. Stan

    Stan Stalker

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    Chelsea would take a 0-0 draw now.

    If LVG wins will he be going to Wings again? That's WINGS.
     
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  8. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    There is always a fact, you're not paying attention!!
     
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  9. Christiansmith

    Christiansmith Well-Known Member

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    Another masterpiece from the king of match threads <ok>

    As in the last match, di Maria starts...on the bench.

    1-2 to United in a tough match. A draw will suit both teams although for United the earlier they get the 73-74 needed the better.
     
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  10. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    I get someone else in to do that;



     
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  11. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    Aye, I've heard you've started delegating the team line up to some bloke called Louis?

    That'll end in disaster if you ask me...
     
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  12. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    No point me putting down the team I think, Luis never, ever, listens to anyone and only ever does exactly as he planned anyway.
     
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  13. Bodinki

    Bodinki You're welcome
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    Dunno.
    Not much point in playing Drogba if his showing against QPR goes.
    Unless he puts Ivanovic up front, which some sources are claiming he will.

    With our first and second choice strikers out, this will have Routemaster all over it.
    Expect to be bored to death for 90 minutes of United lumping it upfield whilst we defend deep and head all the balls out the box.
    United possession 71% Chelsea possession 29%
    11 shots on goal from United with 4 on target
    3 shots on goal from Chelsea with 0 on target

    Chelsea get relief from the pressure in the 76th minute when a United attacking player is sent off and the last 15 minutes or so win an award for the most mind numbing, piece of ****, boring game known in the history of mankind.

    Game ends 0-0.

    You saw it here 12,3102nd
     
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  14. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    That's more likely imo. Leading certain Chelsea fans to claim they 'dominated', were the only team likely to win, and that only the post / bar / poor quality shooting / referee saved us from certain defeat.
     
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  15. Christiansmith

    Christiansmith Well-Known Member

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    United should be looking to win it. I can see a route master being parked with a counter attacking strategy, trying to catch the defenders napping.

    It would be very interesting to see how Jose approaches this match. Will he set the team not to lose or will he go all out for a win?
     
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  16. Bodinki

    Bodinki You're welcome
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    In the words of Castor Troy: "Take one God damned guess!"
     
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  17. Christiansmith

    Christiansmith Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    Do you have any confidence that you'll be able to defend for 90 + without conceding? Having said that we are likely to concede too if we score too early. The best scenario will be 100% defending by Chelsea until 89th minute. After which they are forced to go on all out attack.
     
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  18. Bodinki

    Bodinki You're welcome
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    At best it will be a 1-0 win either way, or a 1-1 draw.
    I cant see either team scoring more than 1 goal a piece, us because we have no decent striker and wont leave our own half.
    You because you will be facing a constant wall of 10 guys.
     
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  19. Style

    Style 'where is the love'

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    The problem with this game is both teams are going to be relatively happy with a draw. Hopefully doesn't turn out to be an absolute bore fest.

    I really we hope go for it as if we do lose it shouldn't stop are pursuit for atleast 3rd and I hate settling for draws.
     
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  20. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    I wouldn't be happy with a draw tbh.

    We know Chelsea will be happy with a draw, so **** it let's go for them. Drawing still means dropped points which opens the door for City - I'd rather we attack Chelsea and put them under pressure, it worked for PSG, Spurs and even Bradford managed to pick a lot of holes in Chelsea's rusty old bus.

    I know that's what Mourinho will probably be hoping for, but we might as well get properly stuck into them and have as much chance of picking up three points as picking up one. QPR showed that their defence is there for the taking, so why not ask the questions?
     
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