Lawro's Weekly Bollocks 2013/14

So, seeing as everyone else is pissing and moaning, I think it's time I started my favourite whinge-related thread on everybody's favourite bollock - Lawro. Apparently him and his nonsense are back for another rip-roaring season of ineptitude, ignorance and sheer guess-work. The first installment;

Ha! That f.... hang on. I don't disagree with that. However he doesn't actually comment on the game.

 

We should really make this a sticky thread as we all derive so much pleasure from his thoughts.

And yes, I agree with it as well. Does he ever actually comment on one of our games. Why break the habit of a lifetime.

 

The only thing missing was "Fulham are a club from West London and they play in white. They once played in Europe, apparently".

 

They usually line up with Berbatov plus 10 others.

 

What, no 'Fulham are notoriously poor travellers'? It's not really him, is it? It's just a new ghost writer who hasn't learned his voice yet.

 

And we're back. Oh how I missed this thread. Lovin your work Bidders.

 

Not so much that our away form has improved, more like Sunderland don't know what their best team is so will be rusty for a few weeks and should be poor enough for us to get a scrappy point.

 

His dopelganger may have a point.

And thank you Bidley - until this thread arrived the start of the new season felt about as imminent as our new signings.

 

Who are you? And what have you done with Mark Lawrenson?
(Apologies to JK Rowling)

Anyway.... C O Y W

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23644878

It's not Lawro, but I thought it belonged here. Are we even playing in the match according to this? Only two of the nine paragraphs in the 'Match Preview' section even mention us: one to describe us as 'much more settled' than Sunderland, and the other to mention that we've signed Darren Bent and that he used to play for Sunderland. It makes Lawro seem positively even-handed.

 

it cant be him, theres not enough of his usual crap

 

Ready for the crap when we lose or should I say if we lose

 

Again, not Lawro but the BBC's flagship writer McNulty; http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23001874

Wow, that must've taken him all of ten minutes.

 

Here we go again - Actually, I don't expect such a low score draw.

"Who would have thought that Fulham would have bought more players by this stage of the season than Arsenal? They have bought well, too. I felt the Cottagers still needed a midfielder but they have got a quality one in Scott Parker and Martin Jol's squad looks strong. Winning at Sunderland was a great start and this will be a real test for Arsenal. I watched the Gunners against Fenerbache in their Champions League qualifier in midweek and, although it took them until the second half to really get going, they were convincing winners. Their home defeat to Aston Villa was a bad result but it was blown out of proportion because it was the first weekend of the season - they did not actually play that badly. Whatever happens in this game, people are going to be talking about who Arsene Wenger could or should buy, and that will continue until the transfer window shuts. Prediction: 1-1"

And just to highlight the usual bias - he has Villa 1 - RedScouse 2.

Can't make the match on Saturday, so can't see us wind up Whinger........ "C O Y W !"

 

Actually I think he is right with the score this week. I can't see Arsenal being as poor as they were second half against Villa and they are actually a quality side when they put their minds to it who it would be good to get a point against.

 

when I am confident with ffc they let me down, so I am hoping for a draw, anything else is a bonus

 

He's showing off a bit here:

"Southampton started with that really good win at West Brom and they have built on that by signing Roma striker Daniel Osvaldo for around £15m."


Surprised he didn't call him "Dani" though, which is how all Pablo's Italian pals refer to him. (Daniel is his middle name). Do you reckon 'The Bollock' is looking to join his pal Jamie Kaarrragher on Sky?

 

I'm absolutely convinced of a home win. I've properly got stuck into the lads at 3/1 and 11/4. Plus I've had a cheeky first goalscorer bet on Bent (I'm pretty sure our new star strikers have for a good record of scoring on their debut - Peschilido definitely did at 5-1).

So you can guarantee this will be a 0-0 or more than likely we'll get done 0-1 (by a dubious decision)! I've got a horrible feeling Tarrabt will get sent off.

 

Bent has scored on his debut at every club he has played for I believe so you may be on to a winner there.

 

You were spot in Fulhaman. Unfortunately I backed him as first goalscorer, but got my cash back as he wasn't on the pitch when Giroud scored.