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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1441
  2. Wooperts_duck

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    #1442
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just heard that Bananarama are going on tour..........

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    #1443
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two Irish fellas walking down the road. One of them gets hit by a passing bus.

    He is lying on the floor bleeding, and clearly dying. His mate says "should I run and get the priest? "

    "What are you talking about?I think I'm dying – it's certainly not the time to think about sex! "
     
    #1444
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #1445
    neveroffsidereff and swantastic like this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My uncle died the other day - he drank a bottle of varnish.

    The doctor said he had a terrible end, but a lovely finish.
     
    #1446
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Two blondes were in a building when it catches fire.
    "Quick! Let"s jump out the window!" one yells to the other.
    "What? Are you crazy? We"re on the 13th floor!" comes the reply.
    The first blonde puts her hands on her hips and, with a stern look, says,
    "listen here miss, this is not the time to get superstitious."
     
    #1447
    swantastic likes this.
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    BREAKING NEWS
    West Ham reveal new shirt sponsorship!

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    #1448
    neveroffsidereff and swantastic like this.
  9. Wooperts_duck

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  10. Wooperts_duck

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    Does anyone know how long you cook those 'boil in the bag fish' you get given at the fun fair for?
     
    #1450

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A guy just knocked on my door and asked who my energy supplier was, apparently, "Red Bull", wasn't the answer he was looking for.
     
    #1451
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    With the General Election looming, there's quite a lot of political jokes doing the rounds.

    The worst thing is, that some of them will probably get elected.
     
    #1452
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A Catholic priest and a rabbi are walking down the street one day when they see a pair of angelic-looking 12-year-old boys playing football in the park.
    The priest turns to the rabbi, nudges him in the ribs and says:
    "I tell you what; lets go and screw those boys"
    The rabbi looked at him curiously and answered:
    "Out of what?"
     
    #1453
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  14. Wooperts_duck

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    Why can"t Welsh blokes take their girlfriends to the rugby?

    They eat all the grass.
     
    #1454
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  15. Wooperts_duck

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    #1455
  16. Wooperts_duck

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    BREAKING: Burnley have signed unknown talent José Bartonola on an 18 month deal.

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    #1456
  17. Wooperts_duck

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    Breaking News: Sergio Aguero is out of his coma and making a full recovery!

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    #1457
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I can remember my first day at school. The teacher looked at me during register and asked, "Are you chewing?"

    I said, "No, Chew Wing is probably one of the Asian kids, my name is Simon!"
     
    #1458
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Have YOU had to walk 500 miles?
    Were you advised to walk 500 more?
    You could be entitled to compensation.

    Call the Pro Claimers NOW.
     
    #1459
  20. Wooperts_duck

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