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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    This bloke goes to see his doctor and says, "every time I fart, it sounds like a Honda motorbike.
    "So the doc asks the chap to pull his pants down and bend over.
    Sure enough, the man farts loudly and its sounds like a Honda motorbike.
    The doc says, "you"ve got an abscess up your arse."
    The bloke says, "surely it can"t make my arse make noises like that."

    The old doctor says, with a cheeky smile, "abscess makes the fart go Honda!"
     
    #2681
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2683
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week.
    Took her to the fair lastnight, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.
     
    #2685
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2687
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Conservatives have pledged to invest in Merseyside and create 100,000 jobs if they win the election.

    The Labour Party now regard Liverpool as a safe seat!
     
    #2688
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Women are like cheese. They come in different shapes, colours, and with various sized holes. Mature one's have blue veins running through them.

    And they always go down easier with wine.
     
    #2689
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2690

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2692
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2693
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #2694
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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    #2696
    Makemstine Roger and Uber_Hoop like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

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    #2697
    Makemstine Roger and Uber_Hoop like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Choosing who to vote for is like having to choose a sexually transmitted disease.

    They're all unpleasant and some are worse than others, but you really don't want any of them!
     
    #2698
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A guy goes to Moscow on business, the first night he picks up a hooker in the Hotel Bar and takes her back to his room.
    Being a hooker he"s not expecting much, but as they"re going at it she starts moaning, he starts pumping for all he"s worth and she starts squealing. he"s really getting into it now, banging like the proverbial sh*thouse door and she starts screaming.
    Afterwards, she"s shattered, she drags herself to her feet, takes the money and says "Mushka, Mushka".
    "She must have loved that and is telling me well done" the guys thinks.
    Next day he meets his business contact, and they go off for a round of golf, the Russian tees off first, he hits a screamer right down the middle of the fairway, 300 yards, a perfect shot.
    Keen to impress, the tourist wants to use the little Russian he knows, so he says "Mushka, Mushka".
    The Russian looks at him and says "What do you mean wrong hole?"
     
    #2699
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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