1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic General chat

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by crumble bungle, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    61,442
    Likes Received:
    55,692
    Hey Stooey.

    How's business?
     
    #4481
  2. password invalid

    password invalid Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    7,845
    Likes Received:
    709
    its all good thanks
     
    #4482
  3. Tel (they/them)

    Tel (they/them) Sucky’s Bailiff

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    61,442
    Likes Received:
    55,692
    Good to hear.
     
    #4483
    commachio likes this.
  4. password invalid

    password invalid Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    7,845
    Likes Received:
    709
    For bri ,

    MI1: Director of Military Intelligence, also Cryptography MI2: Responsible for Russia and Scandanavia MI3: Responsible for Germany and Eastern Europe MI4: Aerial Reconnaisance MI5: Domestic Intelligence and Security MI6: Foreign Intelligence and Security MI8: Interception and Interpretation of Communications MI9: Clandestine Operations, Escape and Evasion MI10: Weapons and Technical Analysis MI11: Field Security and Police MI14: German Specialists MI17: Secretariat for MI departments MI19: Prisoner of War debriefing unit What happened to the interim numbers can only be guessed. The information is classified and may never be fully released, and the extent to which that list is accurate is unknown. Many MI departments, might, for instance, still exist alongside the ones we know about. However, many more may have existed and now be defunct. ps put it down as a pigment again .
     
    #4484
  5. password invalid

    password invalid Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    7,845
    Likes Received:
    709
    Actually, MI5 and MI6 are gone, too. But the British are a people with a great respect for tradition, so the names live on. What is popularly referred to as MI5 is correctly named the Security Service and is in the Home Office, not the MoD. MI6 is used to refer to the Secret Intelligence Service which is part of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, not the MoD.
     
    #4485
  6. grandpops

    grandpops Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
    Messages:
    10,573
    Likes Received:
    4,559
    How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
    These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said i...n court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan!
    _______________________________
    ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS: July 18th.
    ATTORNEY: What year?
    WITNESS: Every year.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS: Forty-five years.
    _________________________________
    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget..
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ____________________________________

    ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
    WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
    ___________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
    WITNESS: Getting laid
    ____________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
    WITNESS: None.
    ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
    WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
    WITNESS: By death..
    ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
    WITNESS: Take a guess.
    ___________________________________________

    ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
    WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
    ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
    WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
    _____________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    WITNESS: Oral...
    _________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
    ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
    WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
    ____________________________________________
    ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

    ______________________________________
    And last:

    ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
    WITNESS: No..
    ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    WITNESS: No.
    ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
     
    #4486
  7. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    93,664
    Likes Received:
    43,720
    Amyone kmow owt about bitcoins?
     
    #4487
  8. Nacho

    Nacho Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    16,925
    Likes Received:
    25,821
    Not really, it's an online only currency isn't it? I think it's often used to buy dodgy stuff because it's not connected to any bank accounts.
     
    #4488
  9. Nacho

    Nacho Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    16,925
    Likes Received:
    25,821
    Why the **** would any pay 50 mil and 150,000 grand a week for Ross Barkley? I thought the general consensus was that although a while ago it looked like he had the potential to be worth that much he turned out to be a dud.
     
    #4489
    Billy Death likes this.
  10. E.T. Fairfax

    E.T. Fairfax Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    8,140
    Likes Received:
    9,287
    How is Claudia Winkleman the highest paid BBC woman? She's pump! She also always looks like her husband puts her makeup on for her the night before.
     
    #4490

  11. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    21,538
    Likes Received:
    6,931
    Whee?
    Nivver heard of her.
     
    #4491
  12. E.T. Fairfax

    E.T. Fairfax Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2012
    Messages:
    8,140
    Likes Received:
    9,287
    please log in to view this image


    BOO!
     
    #4492
    Deleted likes this.
  13. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    21,538
    Likes Received:
    6,931
    ****ing hell, that's scary like.
    Would frighten the ****e out of a police dog.:emoticon-0145-shake
     
    #4493
  14. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    Screw the BBC. My built in freeview on my TV broke so took the opportunity to stop paying my TV Licence and **** the bbc off. Legally too.
     
    #4494
    Billy Death likes this.
  15. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    21,538
    Likes Received:
    6,931
    I get mine for nowt anyhow so **** the Big Black Cock corporation.
     
    #4495
    Brian Storm likes this.
  16. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    20,587
    Likes Received:
    9,884
    I think me and the new neighbours will be getting on just fine.

    20170721_061603.jpg
     
    #4496
    Brian Storm, Sunderlad and Nacho like this.
  17. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
  18. Billy Death

    Billy Death Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2012
    Messages:
    21,538
    Likes Received:
    6,931
    Bastards.
    Of course most hospital parking is ran by private companies now.
    All they care about is dosh.
     
    #4498
    Brian Storm likes this.
  19. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    26,980
    Likes Received:
    14,258
    Off to Liverpool for a stag party weekend. With me being the elder statesman does that mean I have to keep my sensible head on?
     
    #4499
    Vincemac, J๏E.. and Deleted like this.
  20. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2012
    Messages:
    48,871
    Likes Received:
    16,294
    It means surprise the lot of them and set the pace and tone. ;)
     
    #4500

Share This Page