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I mean I am a dad so I do qualify but those are some great jokes to me.

This weather eh, beautiful. There will be some walking lobsters tomorrow.

 

Pinched off Facebook. Pretty sure there's a few Milton Jones in there. I like one liners.

 

My dad built a complete wooden car wooden doors, wooden body, wooden engine woodn 't go.

 

Did he think **** it, named it Theresa May and sent it into politics..

 

Forgot to tell you he used Jeremy as the tail pipe, blew it just like the election.

 

suppose it was good for a fast getaway for the sackless bint the last week with Jeremy taking up the rear..

 

Aye once he took her up the oxo tower it took her to heights she hadn't imagined.

 

She will still be robotic, analed, tongued or whatever, this woman suits her hubby but is ****ing useless at the simple basic stuff. Waited her moment to pounce , a typical example and a leader to many others that have got places in life without knowledge of the job or hard work to even be a quarter of the way..

 

@MaradonerKebab Your dad gone away already fella? He's not been on. @Home_and_Away ?

 

A slogan.

What do we want?
A cure for tourettes.
When do we want it?
****.

Tickled me for some strange reason.

 

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Another one.

What do we want?
A cure for obesity.
When do we want it?
After dinner.

 

What do we want?
A cure for dyslexia
When do we want it?
Won

 

What do we want?
A cure for Alzheimer's.
When do we want it?
When do we want what?

 

Spilled my Guinness!

 

Holy crap! I hope some **** kicks this prick within an inch of his vile little existence

 

I believe nowt
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Report: Sunderland targeting Guillermo Varela, David Moyes' first Manchester United signing

 

Sunderland AFC ground before the Premier League match between Sunderland and Leicester City at the Stadium Of Light, Sunderland, England on 3 December 2016. Photo by Ian Lyall.
CHAMPIONSHIP
Sunderland not in the race to sign Manchester United defender
by ADAM ALLCROFT on JUN 26, 2017 0 COMMENTS
Sunderland AFC ground before the Premier League match between Sunderland and Leicester City at the Stadium Of Light, Sunderland, England on 3 December 2016. Photo by Ian Lyall.
Sunderland are not in the race to sign Manchester United’s Guillermo Varela according to a report from the Sunderland Echo.
The Black Cats need to strengthen their squad to make sure they return to the Premier League at the first time of asking and with them being one of the biggest clubs in the division following their relegation, there are always going to be a lot of reports on who they might sign. The latest reports suggested that Sunderland were interested in signing Varela, a Manchester United defender who has struggled to break into their first team and spent last season on loan with German side Eintracht Frankfurt.

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This report suggested that Sunderland had been looking at the player and were considering making a move for him. Varela was set to only cost £1m because he only has one year left on his contract, being a potential bargain in a summer where a lot of money is going to spent in this league.

But while this move might have made some of the fans happy, it doesn’t seem to be happening as this report from local media has said that the club are not interested in signing Varela and are happy with their right-back situation. Currently they have Billy Jones and Donald Love who can play in that position and while whoever becomes their new manager might change their mind, those two are good enough for the current people in charge to not think about recruiting new players in their position.

 

One report we have him
10 minuets later we are not after him

I believe nowt