http://www.ilivehere.co.uk/luton-englands-toilet.html Luton – England’s Toilet please log in to view this image WRITTEN BY ANONYMOUS VISITOR AND POSTED IN BEDFORDSHIRE Well what can I say about this absolute s**t hole. I had the misfortune of living in Luton for just over a year. I was lucky, being that I lived in Leagrave; pretty posh for Luton. But still a complete dump. When I first moved to Luton I decided to walk to work to try and keep fit. Little did I know that I would have to walk through an area that you could safely describe as Gaza Strip aka Bury Park. I could not believe my eyes of what I saw. I kid you not I saw a police raid on a house using a battering ram to bash down the door to a drug den s**t hole. I wouldn’t mind but this was just before 8am in the morning. You can imagine what it was like walking home at night. It didn’t take me long to realise I should get the train to work. The local train company was First Capital Connect; a suitable train company for such a s**t hole of an area. Everyday going to work on a train that should have been discontinued in the 1960s. Walking into a pub in Luton meant putting your life on the line. Nobody spoke to anyone and if you looked at someone the wrong way; then you should expect a glass in your face. One of the most shocking moments of my year stay in Luton was on Christmas day. Where I went with my friend in his car to pick up some relatives. Only for my friend to point out the local McDonald’s. Explaining to me that it gets busier every year. I could not believe my eyes. The place was full of chav scum families having their Christmas dinner in McDonald’s. It wasn’t like a couple of families. The place was absolutely heaving with chav’s. As summed up by someone at work who was visiting from the Prague office. “I didn’t know what to expect from Luton. I was a little concerned because most friends I spoke with described it as England’s Toilet.” I laughed when he said it because it was funny. Sad thing though; its the best description for such a s**t tip town. .......... I bet you have to pay to go there too
Breaking news.......... A major hurricane hit Luton in the early hours of Monday with its epicentre in the Town Centre. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering ''Faaackinell''. The hurricane decimated the area causing almost 25 pounds worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Ukraine and Poland were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Giros arrived. Heart FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened. One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of 5 said, ''It was such a shock, my little Chardonney-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning......up and watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning. Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Special Brew to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke and Bone China from the 99p shop. HOW CAN YOU HELP? This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or Burberry baseball caps Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers) Shell suits (female) White stilettos White sport socks Rockport boots Any other items usually sold in Primark. Food parcels may be harder to come by but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals Tins of baked beans KFC Ice cream Cans of special brew. And don't forget - 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms 2 Pounds buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9. 3 Pounds buys enough petrol for Dave to drive his Corsa and park up in White Lion car park for the evening. 5 Pounds buys fags and a lighter. ''Breaking News'' Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop and were worried she had been badly cut...... ''Where are you bleeding from?'' they asked, Parkside said the girl, ''wos that gotta do wiv you?'' You heard it here first !
I have had the pleasure of spending a lot of time in Hatfield and that got back press from those who I knew. When I went to Luton to work for a few months, it made Hatfield seem like the garden of Eden.
I spent two years at L*t*n university... purgatory. And then some half wit driver did a u-turn on a zebra crossing and knocked me off my motor bike nearly breaking my neck and writing off my bike. Ultimately costing me an HND.
Yes, but you notice it's called the University of Bedfordshire, because nobody wants the name Luton on their degree certificate.
.. and have you seen its range of course and entrance standards? (Sorry for any past or present students/staff)
When I moved myself from London to Lincoln (1979) I hired a 4 ton box van because I didn't want to be seen in a L*t*n!
It is now the University of Bedfordshire but trust me the certificate says University of L____. Fortunately that has since been trumped.
