Drinking

So if I have to go to the docs now and then the question may pop up where they ask how much I drink. This is quite common and everyone I know has been asked the same question.

They all also admit to telling lies and not admitting to how much they actually drink. Silly people.

I like the reaction I get from telling the truth, there's usually a pause and look of "seriously?".

Is it that doctors don't drink that much because they can't sink of booze or am I drinking myself to death?

So what do you think of how much I drink and how much do you lot get through?

On Friday and Saturday I drink a bottle of wine and 1 beer, maybe 2 (each night)
Sunday bottle of wine. If a good match is on I'll drink 4 cans but then only half of the wine.
Week nights. 1 or 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. Sometimes I don't drink at all in the week and sometimes I do.
I don't often go outside of this routine unless we have friends over and then I have no idea what I drink but it's a lot.

 

Yes you're a piss head.

Google the recommended units per week, I reckon you're about 300% over the recommended amount.

 

I remember a story my mate recanted in a pub one evening that got everybody listening. He is a big guy around 6'2 and weighs in around 25 stone. He started by saying that he hadn't been feeling 100% and felt bloated so went to see his GP. The doctor did all the usual stuff like blood pressure, temperature, tongue and reflexes. He told him all of his vitals were normal but then asked about his diet.

He said, well I get up around 6:30 am make breakfast and put together my sons lunchbox for school. "What is a normal breakfast the doctor replied"? Well he said I have two eggs, bacon, sausages, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes and hash browns and three cups of black coffee. I take my son to school then work from home until eleven then break for a sandwich or three and more coffee.

The GP then said is that it until your evening meal? Oh no came the reply I go to the pub for lunch. "What to you usually have"? About six pints of bitter three pork chops veg and gravy, "good lord" said the doctor. Then I usually have the Spotted Dick and custard.

I walk 35 yards to the school pick up my son and go feed the ducks down the river then my sons usually hungry so we go the the fish shop and have double cod and chips with a few gherkins. "And then home to relax and sleep" says the doc. Good god no, I'm off out playing darts most nights and usually drink 10 pints and a few chasers plus the lovely sandwiches and pies they make for the team.

"OMG" says the doc, but you know what it's like when you've been out on the beer don't you doc? I get the munchies and me and some of the boys go for a curry. I had a chicken jalfreizi a rogan josh and a biryani with a sag Aloo and vegetable samosas washed down with six pints of Kingfisher.

"Surely that's it"? Well I might make a bit of cheese on toast some nights for a bit of supper. Nothing worse than waking up hungry eh doc. The doctor looked at him in amazement and after a few minutes of thought leaned over to my mate and said " I know what your problem is". Go on...

You've only got one arsehole.

 

When they ask you how much you drink ask them how often they ****.

That should kill the conversation.

 

Google anything and it'll tell you you're doing too much or too little. I'm not living my life like that.

 

I mean the NHS alcohol consumption guide, they haven't just plucked those figures out of the air ....

 

Yeah I suppose I could do with more nights off.

 

Bloody useless if you drink two halves of shandy twice a week.

 

Christ Luv!!
Thats about 4 times more alcohol than is considered healthy.

 

If my doctor asked me off the cuff how much I drank I'd tell him to mind his own ****ing business.

Half those quacks are strung out on something anyway.

 

It's easy to get into a habit with drinking. The missus and myself would buy a bottle of wine pretty much every night and polish it off. That's only 2 and a half glasses each, but so easy to see off a whole bottle. 7 bottles of wine per week plus 3-4 beers at the weekend and sometimes I'd hit the rum too.

Had to knock that on the head. Nowdays I don't drink at all in the week and I save myself for 2-3 beers on a sat night. Feel loads better for it too.

 

This is true. GP's have some of the highest alcoholism problems in any profession. But that's more to do with the stress of the job than any advice that they are giving. Definitely a case of do what I say, not what I do.

 

I'm about 650% over the weekly limit. My maths isn't great when drinking though.

 

well if that's all you drink you might as well be honest you lightweight.

 

So what do people drink in a week then? I thought I was quite normal.

 

There's little stress in being a GP considering the wedge they're paid. Monday to Friday dishing out prescriptions and sick lines and the odd shift on Doctor on Call.

If you're sick go to the hospital.

 

Probably not uncommon. But not healthy.

I've gone from drinking 3 bottles of wine, 4-5 beers and probably 5-6 shots of rum per week, to 3-4 beers per week.

 

They also have the highest rate of suicide due to work related stress.

 

Mate, I drink once every 5 or 6 weeks. About 6 or 7pints.

 

I'm feeling quite down about my excessive drinking. Might get a glass of wine to cheer myself up.