Match Day Thread Community Shield Special: Arsenal v Chelsea

I think some people would have started to read it but the menopausal ramblings of an old woman aren't that gripping.

 

You should read it, Chief.

I guarantee you will laugh (at Stan's expense).

 

That's what you hope people would do.

Unfortunately for you, however, the reader is gripped, almost immediately, by the intense hilarity of my comedic set-up, and by the time they get the killer punchline delivery they are hooked, and most definitely urinating in their pants.

 

Yet they claim not have read it because they think you're a tedious, attention seeking ****.

Quite the conundrum.

 

What is most perplexing in all of this, Lightning, is your persistent claim that you find me tedious, and yet you clearly do not.

You see, I think the chip on your shoulder isn't that I am a (to use your delightfully vulgar phrase) "tedious attention-seeking ****," but that you feel threatened by my obvious superior intellectual abilities.

I'm sorry that this rattles you, Stan. I truly am. Please understand, however, that there is little that either of us can do about it.

You could try putting me on IGNORE, as I have done with Skiddy.

I doubt you will, of course; the simple reason being that, secretly, you love my humour, and you admire my mastery of the wum.

 

Why are you doing this Stan?

 

You've got it seriously wrong. Please believe that.

Your persistent replies feed my burgeoning ego.

Keep doing what you do, Stan.

 

Didn't read this one.

 

Of course you have Bell, of course you have.

 

could not be bothered with this match ..so played golf instead , who won