"Turn right passed the defender, over the white line into the box shape and then kick ball into white bag"
"Congratulations on purchasing your IKEA Spoundaaahl workstation. To assemble, ensure that Part C couples with Part D, E & T whilst Part B requires fixing horizontally into Part F, but not before Part G is used to beat Emre Can over the head"
"How many ****ing times Daniel, you have to multiply before you add. Let's try one more time or you aren't playing"
"Don't worry lads ... next year is our year" Edit: Seen it's already done in the match thread. Ah Well.