Off Topic Babies on planes

Just don't do it. The kid doesn't need to go anywhere that requires being shot through the sky at 300mph in an aluminium can.

Until it's old enough just to chill with a book or iPad, don't take it on a ****ing plane. Go to Cornwall or something.

Other gripes: Fat English birds pissed up abroad (attractive ones are fine), English people shouting loudly and slowly in English at foreigners, foreigners in Chelsea shirts out shopping while they're winning the league.

 

Did you enjoy holiday Watford?

 

Just wait until the in-flight air conditioning breaks down, and there's a nappy-change in the seat next to you...

 

Just wait until you are desperate to get out of cold, damp West Windsor to somewhere warm with your adorable 13 month old..........

 

Loved it. Would highly recommend Marrakech.

 

They say when a man is tired of Bracknell, he's tired of life.

 

I thought there was going to be a very dull sequel to Snakes on a Plane for a minute.

 

Think babies strapped into British Airways cots after take off, with unfed snakes roving about the cabin - see the potential for a Tarantino movie?

 

Sounds terrifying. I assume Michael Madson might make a cameo in a bonnet as a wailing toddler... :-/

 

snakes havnt got a chance

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This gives a lie to those mischief-makers that said Nicola Sturgeon was never a child

 

Slap of make up on Michael's face to cover the creases - perfect

 

Don't get on planes that can only travel at 300moh

 

I am taking a 14 month old on his first plane this weekend, any tips? (Other than "don't" Watford).

 

Take some ear plugs so you can't hear his crying or the exaggerated sighing and tutting of fellow passengers.

More seriously, encourage him to burp/ wind him a lot to help clear the air pressure in his ears, which can get very painful. And take him on board knackered, so he'll yell a bit at the start then fall asleep, hopefully for the duration.

 

make sure your seat is well away from him and his mum

 

Give some Benadryl so he sleeps all the way.

 

Some youngsters love flying, others hate it, you won't know for sure until it's too late to do anything about it.

I once spent the best part of an eleven hour flight carrying a one year old and a two year old up and down the aisles, all three of us screaming at the top of our lungs. Memorable.

 

Their parents must have been very thankful you took them!

 

I won't be on it so couldn't care less