Arsene's Press Conference

*Arsene has called a press conference to reveal his latest signing. The media have all arrived, including Mike from 'The Daily Waily News' and Dave from 'The Daily Newsey Wews'*

Dave: Hi Mike, how are things?

Mike: Good thanks, did you hear about this new signing?

Dave: Yeah apparently it's a new defender, did you hear who it could be?

Mike: Well! Word on the street is that it's Jonathan Woodgate!

Dave: Woodgate! Now that would be a story! A Spurs player and an injury plague one too!

Mike: Yes, it's going to be interesting!

Dave: Look! Here comes Arsene now!!!

*Arsene slowly walks onto the stage, he commands the room. He stands at the podium and gazes down at everyone. It's total silence, then, Arsene begins to speak.....*

Arsene: FRIENDS OF THE MEDIA! THANKYOU FOR COMING HERE TODAY! I HAVE COME TO REVEAL MY LATEST SIGNING!

*Mike sticks his hand up*

Mike: IS IT JONATHAN WOODGATE ARSENE!?

Dave: YEAH, IS THIS THE DEFENDER YOU WANTED TO BRING IN!!??

*Arsene looks confused*

Arsene: Jonathan Woodgate?

*Arsene begins to chuckle to himself*

Arsene: Oh dear, I think you must have been misinformed.

Mike: Well who is it then?

Arsene: BEHOLD!!!!!!!!

http://www.stopgapfencing.co.uk/images/wood_garden_picket_gate.jpg

*Arsene pulls down a curtain to reveal a wooden gate*

Mike: What is this?

Arsene: Tis my new wooden gate!

*The media look cross*

Dave: Arsene! Is this your new signing? A gate?

Arsene: Yes. Wooden Gate will help provide back up for our defence.

Mike: This is stupid! A gate can't play football!!!

Arsene: Can't he?

*Arsene pulls out a football and kicks it towards the gate. The ball rebounds off the gate and falls off the stage*

Arsene: He just needs to work on his first touch.

*Arsene takes out an Arsenal shirt and reveals the name 'Wooden Gate' emblazed on the back*

Arsene: Wooden Gate will now take questions.

*Mike sticks up his hand*

Mike: Errr.....Wooden Gate, how do you feel about the move to Arsenal.

*Arsene turns and smiles at Wooden Gate, theres silence as they all stare at the gate*

Mike: Arsene it's not going to talk back. It's a gate.

Arsene (to wooden gate): Come on Wooden Gate, talk back to the nice man!

*Arsene takes the gate and open and closes it, he tries to talk without moving his mouth*

Wooden Gate (Arsene): Hello! I'm Wooden Gate! I am very pleased to be here!

Mike: Arsene I can see your lips moving.

Wooden Gate (Arsene): No you can't!

 

Woo

 

Hi Peterbaey

 

Love it Lady

And Peterbaey! You made it. Now we need Upstart.

 

It feels so strange without the 3 min rule

 

Afternoon Peterbaey.

 

There's no 3 minute rule! OF COURSE!!!

Im so stupid. Ive been waiting around 3 minutes out of habit

 

Hey TBOK, hows it going?


Also, can anyone tell me the deal with the mods on this site? Are there any?

 

Was expecting a more hostile response. All good.

 

Also, can anyone tell me the deal with the mods on this site? Are there any?
==============================================
MalteseMick or Mike not sure, is trying to recruit some.

I would be, but I dont think I could commit enough time for it

 

Vote TBOK for mod.

 

Lady you're a Legend!

 

No chance. Ban Tbok. Can we put petitions up on this site?

As for mods, there can't be any, or if they are, they wouldn't let me say that they are all useless ****ers who should be hanged.

 

TBOK would be a good mod

It would be like when a burglar gives up thieving and becomes a security consultant

 

Great post

 

No-one wants me banned.

 

Have you got a bad rep TBOK?

 

Seems that way. No idea why.

 

Maybe its swearing

 

Why dont we ask the 606 mods to join this website instead...

On second thoughts...