Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

I'd go for some of that!

 

Is this the best tweet ever

 

Yep. Repartee at its finest.

 

Love it! Culture? Who needs it

 

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I can think of many thousands that would love to do this to Escab and Papa....

http://www.somedaily.org/woman-arrested-****ting-boss-desk-winning-lottery/

 

'Page not found'

 

This is hilarious!
Make sure you watch it right till the end

 

Barely believable, dedicated subway stuffers!

 

Woman arrested for defecating on boss’ desk after winning the lottery

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DAVE WEASEL

NEW YORK – A 41-year-old woman had the winning lottery ticket worth over 3 million dollars on Friday night, but showed up to work anyway on Monday to deliver one last package.

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The courier company had no idea of her winnings. “I knew something was wrong because I came back from lunch and the door to my office was closed,” said the manager. I slowly opened the door to discover the woman with her pants around her ankles, hunched over on my desk like a hippopotamus/cheetah dropping a massive poo on my desk. She shot her head towards me and locked eyes. I was frozen in shock and fear. In my peripheral vision I saw a huge mud-monkey sliming out of her butt like a Play-Doh fun factory.”

“It was worth it,” the woman said on arrest. “On Friday when I realized I hit the lotto, I knew this would be the first thing I would do. I hit up every Mexican food truck and saved my dumps all weekend. I was shuffling around like a death-row inmate trying not to explode. I’ve been putting up with that guy’s **** for years, it’s time he put up with some of mine.”

Allam House everyone...!!!!!!

 

Now those are hailstones.

 

proper rock n roll!

 

I was on the last train home last night and the carriage was empty except for me and this sexy brunette sitting opposite.

I'd had a few drinks and was feeling a bit confident so I gave her a wink and a smile. She winked back and gave a little giggle.

Knowing that I was well in, I leant forwards and gently ran my finger up her leg. She gave me a look of shock, but didn't protest.

I caressed her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. She furrowed her brow but still no complaint.

With that my desire took over. I dived into the vacant seat next to her and grabbed one of her breasts and pulled it out. She squealed as I licked it all over and gave it a cheeky nibble.

Then I slowly sat back down in my seat and we exchanged stares. After a minute of silence she looked at me, with a little tear in her eye and said,





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"You've ruined my ****ing KFC."

 

OK, let me just show you how a pro like myself negotiates a flooded patch of road in my totally awesome beast of a machine....just a complete babe magnet.....hope some hotties are observing as I demonstrate my silky skills here.

 

A new club is opening in Leeds called Ku De Ta. That is all:

https://leeds-list.com/food-and-drink/new-to-leeds-ku-de-ta/

 

trademarked by this board i hope

 

Basil Fawlty lives.

What would you do, crack him, or crack up laughing?